How To Avoid Negative People | Family

When life gives me lemons, I try to make lemonade, but when it gives me negative people, I usually head for the nearest exit.

I deal with real people’s pain every day. Others who just complain about being negative, I can do without. Maybe you feel the same.

Here are some ways to deal with the negative people in your life.

1. Avoid social media

Much easier said than done, I know. It’s almost impossible for me to do that, because I’m hired to post daily, but some days I post and close. I argued with people I didn’t know and was insulted by people I complimented. People no longer get drunk or high and call their friends or foes; they post on Facebook.

2. Avoid angry acquaintances

Sometimes people you don’t really know get mad at you: neighbors, former classmates, even friends of former friends can attack you in the face or create distance from you. I prefer the latter and require it if they try the former. Honestly, when someone shows me their anger, I flip my switch and I’m done with them. You should be too.

3. Ask to sit down when a family member gets upset and projects it on you

Yes, you can move them or have them abducted by aliens, but talking is so much easier. Usually people aren’t upset for the reason they think they are, so a little empathy can help your family member focus on the real issue. It will also be easier for both of you if they know they have your help and understanding.

4. Set boundaries when you need them

For example, do you know a constant complainer? If so, you should cherish the friendship, but know that being bombarded by someone else’s negative problems can be emotionally draining. So set limits. You can say, “I have to go now.” Or suggest, “You might want to talk to a therapist.” If you do this regularly and your friend likes you, he will stop.

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5. Prioritize kindness over relationships

Some people you may admire and even respect may also have negative personalities. You may think they have something to offer you, but if it’s not delivered with kindness, then it’s useless.

People who bully each other across the world may be successful, but they don’t make good friends.

6. Always be ready to leave a party

I enjoy a nice social gathering, but when they get out of hand, usually from excessive drinking, the energy in the room can quickly turn negative. This is the right time to make your exit. I just ask my lovely wife if she’s ready to go, and we say goodbye.

7. Choose your friends wisely

Spend time with people who have the same core values ​​as you and you will encounter much less negativity. I’m not really a member, but when I find a group of like-minded people, I stay a member as long as they have me.

8. Avoid grumps and misanthropes if you can

These are people who don’t like anything and complain about it all the time. It can be exhausting to be with them, but if they are family members, avoiding them can be problematic. Seeing them as slightly broken and harmless can help you cope.

Unless you live in fantasy land, there will always be negative people in your world. Using the techniques above will help you avoid taking on their negativity. Emotional pain is probably what causes people to behave this way, and just knowing that can help you too.

Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of “The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.” Follow his daily insights on Twitter at

@BartonGoldsmith or email him at [email protected].

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